HILARITY.

"Wallabies are getting stoned on Tasmania's opium poppy crops and hopping about in circles, authorities say.

Attorney-General Lara Giddings says wallabies have created crop circles of squashed poppies as they increasingly hop into the fields eating the poppy heads.

That causes them to get high and run around in turns creating crop circles, she told a budget estimates hearing.

"The one interesting bit that I found recently in one of my briefs on the poppy industry was that we have a problem with wallabies entering poppy fields, getting as high as a kite and going around in circles," Giddings is quoted in The Mercury newspaper as saying.

"Then they crash. We see crop circles in the poppy industry from wallabies that are high."

Zero said, "This is an interesting world we live in."

HEAVY.

You need to click HERE HERE HERE and watch The Dead Weather perform. "Treat Me Like Your Mother" and "Bone House" make me feel some real feelings. Awesome awesome feelings. It's true inspiration unlike any I've come across in quite some time. Jack White is really such an ultimate husband. I'm about to have to make a new husband list where he and Edward Scissorhands are tied for the top spot. Of course this explains why I can't get enough of Zero. No matter how hard I try. J/K, but that kid is actually a dream come true.

Dolla dolla bills, y'aaaaaall.

Wassuuuuup! Man, last July, I was straight getting retarded on your butts, spending my days watching Anne of Green Gables on youtube and making secret dance videos. This July, I am a working girl for the first time in over two years. (I figure infrequent unpaid internships and keeping up with this here gem of a blog don't really count.) I just arrived home after my first full work week, which is still under 40 hours, so I'm keeping the slack alive- DON'T WORRY.
Monday is spent at a literary agency, reading slush (awesome!) and writing rejection letters (sad!), and the next three days are spent with two infant twins. Although sometimes I can't make them happy and I end up smelling hardup like formula and lotion, I am so psyched to be a part of the development of a magical sister-brother duo. The parents are awesome, too, which is a huge plus. And I'm getting paid more than twice what I've been paid in the past. I'm having grown-up excitement like, "I can start to pay off my debt!" and "I can put money in my savings account!" and "I can pay a full share of the rent all by myself!" I'm also having youthful excitement like, "I can buy that pair of jeans I've been salivating over!" and "I can buy snacks now and again!" and most importantly "I can start collecting keyboards!" Of course, I'm getting ahead of myself. The grown-up stuff comes first. Wah-wah. I am getting contacts again soon though! Wearing thick glasses in 90 degree heat is a bummer.

When I got home, I stuck to my crop top policy, and I put my hair up with a bunch of bobby pins, and my first thought was of Debra Winger in Terms of Endearment, which was a correct thought:

And then I thought about Working Girl with Melanie Griffiths, which was an even more correct thought:

I have a movie to watch now.

In the meantime, I leave you with this classic gem. Keeping it real in '09, y'all!

This is rock n roll.

John-gee gifted me with this unstoppable youtube clip:



I was like, "Aw, this guy is so cute. He is really getting me. Doop-dee-dooOH MY GOD." And that's when he melted my face off with his skills. Seriously. And then he just went right back to being cute again, like it was nothing.

Big sleaze.

My horoscope for the week: "To be as superb as you potentially can be, you'll have to be at least a little confusing and shocking and maybe even sleazy." Perfect.

I'll just let this video be my theme:

EXCUSE ME, Joe Jonas? I never would have guessed you had it in you. You are not sleazy, though. Classy? Definitely. I'll aspire to your class and instead just get down with some sleaze.

Well, at least I've got the confusing part down pat.

Glimpse at a weekend of gets.

This photo pretty much sums up my feelings about my trip to Virginia Beach:


And as though it were my birthday, Zero fully became the Tim Burton character he is inside:

Real feelings.

JOHNNY DEPP'S PERFORMANCE IN EDWARD SCISSORHANDS IS THE BEST PERFORMANCE OF ALL TIME.

Edward Scissorhands is also the best movie ever.







I really can't believe a single thing about it. Since I was a little girl, this movie has gotten me so hard in the most beautiful way. It's just really too bad that Johnny Depp is so soulless and ugly and untalented. I die.