Heartbreak.

Zero and I are going to NYC on the 18th so he can get paid to kiss Blake Lively, and we found out yesterday that while we're there, THIS is going to be happening here in Portland:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously, though, I yelled like that about 20 times last night after making this discovery. I still haven't come to terms with the fact that I'm going to miss one of my favorite soundmakers, M83, at one of the best venues, the Doug Fir. So barf there. But now THIS?!?!?!?
BLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First of all, I can't even be sarcastic about this and pretend that I hate everything that I love- that's how truly sick I am about it. I love Wet Hot American Summer. It's one of my favorite movies of all time. In my top five, easily. And I've loved Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter since The State first premiered on MTV back when it didn't suck. I mean, I love them unconditionally. I could find out that they're Scientologists or murderers or that they beat up little kids, and I would still love them. The Michael Showalter Showalter is golden, and the original Stella shorts are some of my favorite favorite favorite most hilarious shit ever.


Michael Showalter performed at the Cat's Cradle when I was living in Chapel Hill, and I actually got to talk with him and tell him my true feelings, and it was one of the greatest moments ever.

I love him forever. I actually get nervous thinking about him; it's true love.

The two of them performed here back in October or something, and I didn't go, and I was okay with that. And, actually, even though I love them both and it would be hard, I would be able to accept missing them doing stand-up. BUT THEY'RE SHOWING ONE OF THE GREATEST MOVIES EVER AND THEN HAVING A Q&A SESSION ABOUT IT!!!!!! I'm sorry. I'm insane over it. I kind of want to impale myself on a sword.

All I have to say is New York better fucking step up its game and show me a fucking good time. No, a great time. A great idea.